OPINION - Take It Easy! It's Just a Game

(OPINION) It’s been my privilege to attend numerous sporting events over the years as a sports writer and broadcaster, but I'll never forget my first assignment as a high school sports reporter. As football season neared its end in fall 2012, an opportunity arose for me to work part-time as a sports reporter for a news group where I lived. I jumped on the opportunity like a defensive linemen diving onto the pile after a fumble. Who wouldn’t? It’s not every day you get an opportunity to get paid to watch sports.

This was my first experience as a reporter at the high school level. I had worked for the student newspaper at the college I attended and experienced the Division II college atmosphere. I figured high school wouldn’t be any different and felt I would be prepared for the experience. After all, sports are sports, right? WRONG.  Nothing could have prepared for me the passion and energy of the high school sports experience.

The first game I attended as a reporter was a region football game featuring two teams on opposite ends of the standings. I found a seat on the visitors side that provided a perfect view of the field, so I wouldn’t miss any important details. This became my weekly routine because it was much easier to find a suitable spot to sit. I had my roster and my notebook in hand. I was ready for kickoff. And then it began….

As soon as the kicker’s foot touched the ball, a thunderous roar could be heard all around the stadium. Fearing some sort of deadly catastrophe, I looked around to make sure everything was OK and realized it was just people yelling and screaming. As the game went on, the yelling and screaming intensified and one thing became clear. There was in attendance that night, a group of people far more passionate about the game than the fans in the student sections and even the players and coaches. It was obvious that the PARENTS in attendance were much more emotionally invested than anyone else.

It was actually the parents doing the majority of the yelling throughout the game. Now, before I go any further, let me issue a disclaimer that I am well aware of the fact that cheering and being rambunctious is very much a part of being a spectator at a sporting event. I’ve been to my share of games and done my share of cheering. However, I was appalled at what was unfolding before me that night.

Instead of using their energy to support their teams, these parents screamed and yelled unceasingly at the officials, opposing players, and even the coaches of the teams they were supposedly supporting. And it wasn’t pretty. These parents spewed a never-ending barrage of heavy criticism toward anyone within a mile of the field. But it wasn’t the fact that this was happening that surprised me. It was the people doing the criticizing that surprised me. It was behavior I would expect to see from the students in attendance, not “mature” adults.

When basketball started, it just got worse. Now these same parents were close enough to the action that their criticism was sure to be heard. At the football games at least some of the yelling was lost into the night sky and didn’t carry all the way to the field. But at a basketball game, everyone is crammed into the gym like sardines, and taunting an opponent or official is easy.

I watched in horror on one occasion as parents in support of one school loudly scoffed at a player of another school after he fouled out. These same parents, who preach to their own kids about sportsmanship and winning not being everything, were openly mocking a high school kid because he couldn’t participate any further in the game. And the reason they were happy he couldn’t play anymore? The player was one of the school’s best players. If he couldn’t play, it meant the team they were supporting had a better chance of winning. Now that’s a great lesson to teach your kids. It’s OK to ridicule someone as long as he or she is competing against you or the team you’re supporting.

What these parents didn’t realize was that they actually looked stupid. Really stupid.

Now, let me issue another disclaimer. I’m not perfect, nor do I claim to be by writing about this topic. I’ve done my share of yelling at refs and players, both as a participant and a spectator. But I have never scoffed and scorned (nor will I ever) at someone multiple decades younger than me. Perhaps the greatest thing I have learned in my time as a high school sports reporter is there has never been more of a need for true sportsmanship than now. Thanks to this experience, I will do my best to never criticize an official or player. I guess you could say I’m growing up. Something these particular parents forgot to do.

Some might say I’m being too harsh. Some might justify their actions by saying it’s OK to yell and scream at the officials because it’s their job. After all, they are paid to officiate the games. Well, you don’t see me obsessively scrutinizing your work and screaming in your face every time you make the tiniest of mistakes while on the job.

“What?!? You dropped that paperclip?!? How could you?!? Are you lame?!? Have you lost control of your limbs?!?”

 Ridiculous? Yes.  A little exaggerated and over the top? Certainly. But believe me, it’s not far off. How many times do you hear people screaming at the officials because they missed a call? I believe it usually goes something like this.

“What?!? You blew THAT call?!? How could you?!? It was right in front of your face!!! Are you blind?!?”

Parents, take notice. Your kids certainly are. Don’t tell them to act one way and then act in the exact opposite manner, especially when they are at the same event as you. Believe me, they see you. Yep. That kid across the gym sinking deeper and deeper into a seat because his or her dad is calling the official by name (a huge pet peeve of mine by the way) in the middle of a rant about some meaningless call.

I’m grateful for parents who practiced what they preached. I was raised in a home that was as competitive, if not more, than any other home in town, but the only time I ever saw my dad say anything to an official was when a player bashed me in the face with the ball from point blank range. And even then, he was more concerned about my well-being than making sure the other player got punished.

I don’t know if this post will make the slightest bit of difference in the grand scheme of things. But maybe, just maybe, someone will read this and decide they can be a little bit better. Perhaps someone will read this and scoff and scorn some more. But here's the cold, hard truth: if we don't change soon, we might not have any sporting events to attend. There's a referee exodus taking place across the nation, and the more we criticize, the more referees we drive out of the game.

Let's all strive to make a positive difference at every game we attend. Let’s stop yelling at officials and players and start thanking them instead. After all, without them, we wouldn’t have a game to enjoy.